The Art of Space Holding
for the emergence of potentially wiser and thriving futures
As a Regenerative Transition Facilitator, there is one core question that grounds my work: “What kind of spaces do we need, individually and collectively, to create room for the emergence of potentially wiser and thriveable futures, how can we initiate, nurture and protect these spaces?”
Unfortunately, the practice of space holding has become increasingly rare due to our collective overprioritization of the pragmatic, efficient and result-oriented. We diagnose instead of listening. We prescribe instead of supporting. We dictate instead of inspiring. We prioritise acceleration over depth, solutionizing over compassion, measurability over dancing with uncertainty, reductionism over pluralism and a coherent ego over ambiguity.
Despite it all, most of us, even if we don’t realise it, have experience with the art of space holding. Especially educators, parents, grandparents, caretakers, social workers, artists, writers and healthcare workers are constantly holding space for others, whether with intention or out of habit. We create environments in which others feel they have the space to hold and process emotions, questions and thoughts.
What is space holding?
In this moment, I understand space holding as the practice of creating and expanding the connected emotional, physical, social and cognitive space for people to, individually and collectively, identify, face, and process emotions, questions, and stories without freezing, fleeing or hiding behind false certainties or quick fixes.
It’s an intentional effort to create emotional space for ourselves and others to pause, hold and compost (a.k.a. process) the messy, liminal, uncertain, and ambiguous social and emotional dynamics of living in times of collapse, transition and emergence. It is an invitation to all of us to create room for flow, composting and expanding without pursuing a predetermined result or pathway.
For too long, the reductionist, mechanistic, siloed, linear Cartesian status quo shaped our ways of gathering, educating and parenting. Both inner and intrapersonal development have become linear, boxed and result-oriented. This has led us to collectively lose the ability to dance with uncertainty and commit to a journey without knowing the outcome. As a result, our gatherings, friendships, work, relationships, conversations, politics, and education have become disconnected, superficial, heady, solutionistic, and short-term oriented (or, in more blunt and truthful wording, shortsighted). Dancing with uncertainty, playing for the sake of playing, gathering not to Do but just to Be. All of these practices are often deemed unintelligible, naive or a waste of time.
Kind-Hearted, Well-Intended, No time to Heal
This autumn, I participated in a two-day gathering, focused on the meaning and practice of decolonising the agro-ecology movement. This movement consists mostly of social and political activists, antifascists, agro-ecology farmers and agricultural grassroots community leaders, many combining all of these roles into one powerful mix of pursuing change and standing in solidarity with justice and life. Two weeks later, I attended a flashy conference of 1,5 thousand impact makers in the pursuit of mostly technological fixes and measurable impact investments. Both spaces share the commonality that they are filled with well-intentioned, kind-hearted people who are trying to make the world a better place. The challenge is that we are inhabitants of a mechanistic society, and the intention to create a better world has not alleviated our hard-wired tendency to strive for efficiency, speed, clarity, and measurable outcomes.
We are trying to solve widespread insidious challenges with singular solutions. We are so busy ‘fixing’ the meta crisis that we are forgetting to stop, pause and consider what we are actually trying to save, and why? Does it need saving? Are we creating alternatives for ways of living and products that shouldn’t exist in a wiser and thriving future? And one of the most vital questions is, ‘Are we not still holding on to the mic? We are in a constant dynamic of responding to the meta-crisis, and we are primarily responding from our current way of knowing and being.
What if instead of responding, we nurture the conditions for potential wiser and regenerative futures to emerge?
What if, instead of reacting to the problems of today and creating the problems for tomorrow, we heal the broken relations, dynamics and stories that have led us down this path?
What if we realised it’s not our responsibility to fix superficially but to heal relationality?
How do you feel about the art of space holding?
Wat een prachtige slotvraag: What if we realised it’s not our responsibility to fix superficially but to heal relationality?
This resonates so much with me! I have been observing the same patterns. It seems that in our “hard-wired” tendency for efficiency and speed, we rather treat the symptoms than looking at the root causes of the problems we are facing. Instead of taking the time to sit with it and go deep, we stay at the surface and go for quick “fixes”.
This has prompted in me the desire to be a space holder. The space: my farm. Get away from all the busyness and come sit, breathe, be and talk freely. Exchange, listen, learn, looking for the questions we haven’t asked yet. “Dance with uncertainty “ as you call it. Doing/acting is essential and must be the end goal, but there is great value in widening the picture first, acknowledging the complexity and interconnectivity.